Esteem & Style: Let’s Stop the SELF Body Shaming Already!

Esteem & Style: Let's Stop the SELF Body Shaming Already! | Stop looking at areas on your body that aren't your favorite as problems! You don't have problem areas. This post is for you if you're looking to learn how to style yourself or trying to cover up those "problem areas."

Esteem and style is like the chicken and the egg argument. Does great style precede great esteem or is it the other way around?

As a personal stylist, I’m always hearing others in the industry and even clients talking about “problem areas.” So what exactly IS a problem area? Also referred to as “trouble zones,” problem areas are those areas of one’s body deemed as less than desirable by not only themselves, but by society. This way of thinking is absolutely beyond me.

PSA: There is no such thing as a problem area.

Women’s bodies have amazing capabilities and should not only be looked at objects of affection or sexualization. I think that in order for outward body shaming to stop, it has to start FIRST within ourselves. Our verbiage and the way we talk about ourselves has to change. If we look at our bodies as having problems and areas that need fixing, we are setting ourselves up for failure. This type of language is the breeding ground for why we struggle to love ourselves as-is in the first place.

Now when styling clients, I don’t look to address problem areas and how to hide them. That makes them seem like a deep, dark secret and we should never view our bodies that way. I look to work my clients and find things that they LOVE about their bodies and find ways to celebrate them! If this sounds like something you agree with and you’re looking to elevate your style, email me at iamaquielmiller@gmail.com to book a FREE virtual style discovery consultation!

Death to “problem areas!”

Cheers to new perspective and learning to love ourselves,

AM

 

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The Burger King Incident

“When you hold yourself to the same standard in your work that you do as a friend, girlfriend, student, or otherwise, it pays off.” –Sophia Amoruso, #GIRLBOSS

Man, there’s nothing like being inspired! I’ve wanted this book forever and a day and I finally got it from Target! $13 and some change for knowledge that I can’t put a price on? Sold! Anyway..I’m going to be transparent here for a second…

I had a mini meltdown in the Burger King yesterday. I got to thinking about how I feel like my life after college has been such a bust—started working 2 jobs I’m not necessarily crazy about, I have more debt in my life than I’d like to admit, and I still have so many things I want and NEED to do. And while all of this is going on, the little voice inside my head (and heart) is screaming to be heard. “You have an audience, a people to save…They’re waiting on you!” That voice is getting louder and less easy to ignore. All of the pressure is too much sometimes (to say the least). Juggling life and expectations carries a greater weight than I care to bear sometimes. All I truly want is to help others find themselves, make my parents’ sacrifices worth it, and have my independence.

So I’m walking through Target’s book section with my boyfriend after the Burger King incident. And I come across, what it seems to be, the answer to a heart prayer. I immediately crack open its pages and breathe a sigh of relief. I’m only shy thirty pages into the God-send, and she’s already pouring out a crazy amount of knowledge about finding and trusting self, coupled with sound business tips and advice.

When I find little gems like #GIRLBOSS along the way, I can hear God’s voice saying “Daughter I am still here with you.” I just love it when He gives out those little knowledge nuggets to help us keep going.

Moral of the story: I’m still a work in progress.

All my love,

AM

Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve…But You Didn’t

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You ever look back at time you’ve ALLOWED yourself to lose and get super angry at yourself? Ever start (re-) jotting down ideas of things you want to do only to realize that you’ve already went through that phase? Ever let the dishes, laundry, or any task you don’t feel like doing pile for days or weeks? Oh yeah! Ever notice patterns in your life where you’ve procrastinated, knew it, and blamed your procrastination on everything but who the blame needs to be on?

Well, I can pretty much guess that if you’re reading this post that you feel exactly as I do. Now, this post is not one of pity and condemnation, but actually, the exact opposite. I’ve noticed patterns in my life where I will get so motivated for something and come up with all of these fabulous ideas. I’ll even go as far as bouncing the ideas off of close friends and family members and doing a little research, but then that’s about as far as it gets. I’m tired of that! I’m sure that I’m not alone when I say that I’ve allowed procrastination, laziness, and my emotions get in the way of what I truly want. And that is to be ENTIRELY who I’m created to be.

Inside of each and every one of us lies a destiny, a purpose. You may say “Hmmm…I don’t think I have a purpose.” Lies! The thing that keeps us from reaching our true selves is not the laundry, not the job, not how our parents raised us, but us. It is us. In order to move forward in being our truest, most authentic selves we must first:

  1. Take responsibility for the time we’ve let get away, missed opportunities we weren’t prepared for, and bad habits that keep us from being focused.
  2. Set realistic goals. Jot them down and then TAKE ACTION! This is where I’ve missed it. I get the ideas out of my head and onto paper and then they die there. Don’t let that happen another day! My mom gave me a great idea. Try setting 2-4 goals in 30, 40, 60 day increments or whatever is most realistic for you.
  3. Prepare for the road ahead. I know this is a tough one because it is easier said than done but always remember. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Look folks, God is gracious enough to bestow upon us innovative ideas, groundbreaking ideologies, and more and we take it for granted. And guys, we don’t have to be perfect the first time we try and we can always adapt and adjust. We just have to put one foot in front of the other day after day, moment after moment. And trust me I get it! Your path is totally and completely your own. Maybe no one showed you how to handle your finances or maybe they didn’t show you how to eat well and workout. But now the choice is totally and completely yours because excuses don’t care. Don’t allow yourself another day to say “I wish” or “I would like.” Change it to “I will.”

I would really love to hear your feedback on this post with ways you overcome your biggest personal challenges that try to keep you from being focused.

All my love,

AM